Forever Gone, Forever You
by All That Remains
Summary: Post the season 4 finale. Someone makes a life altering decision and it affects another person’s life. A one-parter.


**Disclaimer: If I owned Gilmore Girls Dean would've divorced Lindsay before sleeping with Rory.  
**  
Summary: Post the season 4 finale. Someone makes a life altering decision and it affects another person's life. A one-parter.  
  
A/N: It's different POVs, but I'm not going to mention their names just to make a dramatic affect. I know some things are OOC, but you have to deal.  
  
Pairings: One mentioning of Luke and Lorelai.  
  
**WARNING**: Character suicide  
  
**WARNING #2**: This story is very very very dramatic.  
  
Genre: Drama/Angst/Tragedy/Romance

It has been three days since the opening of the Dragonfly and his head is all in disarray. He sits on the foot of the bed and holds his head in his hands to stop a pounding headache as he reflects on the events that lead to this.  
  
When he was in Chicago, he had been through three relationships, but they meant more to the girl he was dating than to him. He would always try to push further than the rate they were moving. When it finally came down to having sex, he would break it off on account of guilt.  
  
He wanted so desperately to change his womanizing ways and when his father announced that they were moving to Connecticut, he was upset about leaving his friends. But, on the other hand it would be a fresh start for him.  
  
And, indeed, it was a fresh start. The day he first saw Rory Gilmore he knew he was truly in love with her (odd for a sixteen year old kid to be thinking about this kind of stuff). She was the only girl he ever felt this way about. She was the only girl who he wanted to take things slow with.  
  
When they broke up, it was the hardest day of his life. He tried so hard to get over her, but it was almost impossible.........until she met Lindsay. She befriended him and helped him through the break-up.  
  
He thought he loved her as much as he loved Rory. That's why he proposed to her. He didn't remember his drunken confession until a few months later and he tried to ignore it, but the more he was around Rory, the more he realized that it was true.  
  
He went to her house the night of the opening of the Dragonfly because he wanted to talk to her about what happened earlier that day. They almost kissed. He knew it. She knew it. He just didn't know where to go from there. Should he ignore it and continue his miserable marriage with Lindsay or should he pursue it, divorce Lindsay, and spend the rest of his life with Rory?  
  
But, the moment he stepped into her room, his hormones went out of control. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her and take her right there. When he kissed her, she didn't pull away. That was when he knew that she needed him as much as he needed her.  
  
He slowly picks his head up and goes downstairs. Lindsay is gone for the day. She doesn't know about what happened between him and Rory, which makes the guilt weigh heavier on his shoulders.  
  
He can't talk to Rory. Whenever she would see him she would run away from him before he could say anything. She's mad at him for the situation he put her is. He knows it. His marriage with Lindsay is falling apart, but he doesn't want to hurt her. So he has to stay trapped in a loveless marriage.  
  
_There's got to be another solution_, he thinks, as he gets himself a drink. He racks his brain for one. He goes into the bathroom and takes some aspirin. He looks at the bottle and sees the only way out of this decision. He writes a letter to Rory and addresses it and then puts it in the mailbox. Then he goes into the bathroom and grabs a bottle of vodka and re-opens the aspirin bottle......  
  
  
  
On Thursday she sits in the second pew of the church as the priest starts the memorial service. Lorelai is sitting next to her and holding her hand. She can't cry because she thinks that it would give away the fact that they were together last week. She reflects on the night before and how she had come to be here.  
  
She was sitting at home last night. She had just picked up the mail. There was a letter addressed to her, but she recognized the return address and she just put it on the dresser. It was never to be opened.  
  
She didn't really speak to her mother. They have been on bad terms since the opening of the Dragonfly Inn. But, this time she had a warm sympathetic expression on her face. Her mother had dragged her into the living room and told her that Dean passed away.  
  
Lorelai told her that Lindsay came home Monday and found him on the bathroom floor. There was an empty vodka bottle and empty bottle of aspirin near him. She had taken him to the hospital and the doctors couldn't save him.  
  
She'd cried on Lorelai's shoulder and Lorelai told her that the funeral would be tomorrow. She decided to go. After all, no matter how upset she was about the situation Dean had put her in, she did love him and wanted to say good-bye.  
  
She doesn't listen to the eulogies. She's focusing on trying not to cry and listening to the eulogy in her head. While she was dating Dean, he was so kind to her. He made her feel loved and safe. He was cute and funny and nice, despite the past event.  
  
When the service is over, she walks up to Lindsay and tells her that she's sorry for her loss. Lindsay doesn't even look at her when she thanks her and walks away. She doesn't blame Lindsay for being cold towards her.  
  
She goes to the cemetery with ever else and watches as the coffin, which holds Dean's body, is lowered into the ground. Again, she tries not to cry. A few tears slip down her cheek, but she brushes them away.  
  
She goes home to an empty house. _Mom's probably out with Luke_, she thinks to herself. She goes back into her room and pulls out the Dean box, going through each item one at a time. She takes a small walk down memory lane and then shoves the box back into the closet.  
  
She looks at the bed. Memories of last week drift in her head and tears come to her eyes. The passionate love that they made that night will never happen again. The fiery kisses exchanged that night will never be exchanged again. She'll even see his face anymore.  
  
Her eyes drift over to the envelope, which she decided against opening. She picks it up, but can't bring herself to open it. She puts it back and decides to read it some other time.  
  
That night, she finds it hard to sleep. She looks over at her clock on her nightstand. 3:00 A.M. She throws the covers off her and puts a jacket on. Before she leaves the house, she puts the envelope in her coat pocket. Then, she grabs a flashlight and leaves the house.  
  
She walks through town to the new burial plot. The tombstone has already been planted. She flashes her flashlight on it. It says, _Dean Forester. Loving husband, brother, son, and friend. 1985-2004. _She runs her fingers over the letters and then sits down next to it. Tears fill her eyes, but she blinks them back. She takes the envelope out of her pocket and shines the flashlight on it. It says:  
  
_Dear Rory,  
  
By the time this gets to you, I might not be here anymore. I just had to talk to you, but you wouldn't even look at me, so this is the only way I can.  
  
I'm sorry I got you emotionally involved with my marriage. I didn't go over to your house to sleep with you. I hope you believe me on that. I came over to your house to talk about what happened before Tom came in. I just don't know what happened.  
  
Even though it was a bad night for both of us afterwards, I just want you to know that it was also one of the best nights of my life. I hope I was okay for your first time. Even though, I cheated on my wife, which I feel very guilty about, that night really meant a lot to me and I'm glad I was your first.  
  
I want you to know that I love you. I've always loved you and I'll always love you. You are a smart, beautiful girl and I know that you're going to go places once you graduate college.  
  
All my love,  
  
Dean  
_  
She founds the note back up and tucks it into her pocket. _I love you, too_, she says, inwardly. The tears that she tried so hard not to cry start to fall. She sits there staring at the tombstone and crying hysterically.  
  
_ We could've worked something out_, she thinks. _He didn't have to kill himself. I would've supported his decision either way_. She wishes that he didn't do this to himself. She wishes that she could've stopped him. But, she couldn't have because she had no idea he even considered killing himself.  
  
After two hours, she finally re-groups herself and stands up and walks home. She has to continue on with her life, but she wouldn't forget him. There's always going to be a piece of her heart that belongs to Dean Forester.  
  
The End.  
  
A/N: I know I said I wasn't going to write anymore, but the idea kind of flew into my head while I was sitting at the computer. This is really my last piece until I come back from camp. I hoped you like it. You can flame, but don't flame too hard. Happy summer, everyone! 


End file.
